25 Spoilers for Jon and Kate Plus Eight

25. Jon decides to not just provide for eight, but also eat for eight.

23. Revealed: Ed Hardy is not just Jon's favorite yachting partner, but also the nickname for his gut.

19. Producers tell Jon that the title is not Jon and Kate Plus Ate. Again.

1. Next season on Jon and Kate Plus Seven....Jon gets real hungry. Baby hungry.

...The Stimulus Package

10. Congress avoided reading my 1000+ pages like Obama's cabinet avoids paying their taxes. 

12. Blago's brother already propositioned me for a donation. 

23. Now!  With a new look!  In a new package! With .00967% more Stimulus! 

25. In addition to everything else, I'll enhance your performance and give you two extra inches. 

Snugs, 

The American Stimulus Package

...High Michael Phelps

4. I do everything with water, even my bongs.

11. Little known talent: I can blow Olympic-sized smoke rings.

17. You don't look like this without doing some kind of drugs.

25. I'm a male swimmer, if something long and hard is put in front of me, I will put my mouth around it. It's science.

Butterfly strokes and bong tokes,



*Micahel F&$% Yea! Phelps

...The Boss's Crotch at the Super Bowl

3. The inspiration behind "Glory Days"?  You just saw it. (In High-Def!)

4. Suck it, Cards! (In High-Def!)

5. Also called "The Boss." (In High-Def!)

21. Now you know where I got the inspiration for the song, "The Rising."  Itunes it. (Not in High-Def. ....Sadly.)

25. After tonight, you've all been "going down, down, down, down." (In High-Def!)

AND...HE...COULD...GOOO... ALL...THE...WAAAAAAY, 

-Bruce's sweet spot

...Journey's New Lead Singer at the Superbowl

1. Just replaced Mickey Rourke as "luckiest son-of-a-bitch" alive. C'mon, I used to be in a tribute band, now I'm in the band!  R-u-k-c-y!  

4. I'm still working on English. 

10. Go Rangers!

14. Still try to perform as if I'm doing karaoke in my basement. 

17. It's a wig. 

19. I was rejected from American Idol. Do you see the irony?

21. I believe I'm prettier than Randy Jackson. Hands down. 

25. I'm in the spirit world. 

Holdin' on to that feeling, 

-The new frontdude for Journey that was discovered on YouTube

...Drunk Diane Sawyer

3. enlknceoine

7. [hiccup]

4. enclkjoeijnls

25. And now back to Edward R. Murrow in the studios.  Ed? ... Ed? 

-Daine

...The Bacon Explosion

1. I have the distinction of being the best f-ing food ever. Look it up.

5. I am the reason why God invented weaving.

11. My god? I pray to Dr. Atkins.

17. I think that if you're watching your figure, you should stick with the bloomin' onion.

21. I am the favorite food of Dom DeLuise.

25. I could tell you all my secrets, but I'd have to kill you. Just kidding! Anyway you look at it, I will kill you.



Big fat hearts <3,

T.B.E.